Just got the six of swords

I just got the 6 of swords, yes my life has been full of pressure and stress lately and it is about to knock me physically for a six... guess it’s time to rest up and take care of my mental and physical health. It’s nice to know I’m heading in the right direction still though

Exactly! You are headed in the right direction. Keep that positive attitude, D.B.

I think soon - very soon, you'll be pulling the Sun card!

Yes I’m trying,to push forward, physically I’ve come down with a chest cold. That’s it knocking me for a six. The stress and pressure is more about my daughter looking at moving away. I. Wouldn’t mind if she was going to something that would realise her dreams and goals, but I can’t see it, all I see is that it’s the easy option. As it all looks too hard for her here at the moment. I am hoping to rectify that.
I pulled 9 of cups, 2of wands and the Lovers.
Which tells me it’s more about she’s missing something and that would be her friend. Who had a hand in making her decision. I do believe I can pull her life together and allow her to see a path that will come together for her that will realise her dreams for her future, If she still decides to go then that is a decision I can’t stop. I left where she wants to go because there were very few options for both my girls and I. I need to show her.

I’m taking a sick day tomorrow, I’m too contagious for the residents and not well enough in myself to do what I need to. I will hopefully be able to use this time to research for her.

Dancing Bear wrote:Yes I’m trying,to push forward, physically I’ve come down with a chest cold. That’s it knocking me for a six. The stress and pressure is more about my daughter looking at moving away. I.  Wouldn’t mind if she was going to something that would realise her dreams and goals, but I can’t see it, all I see is that it’s the easy option. As it all looks too hard for her here at the moment. I am hoping to rectify that.

OMG!  I just re-did the reading I did for you because I felt it wasn't correct.  Originally it flowed out of me all about your daughter and her moving or wanting to move.  darn!  I should've sent that one as well as teh 'new one'.  But sadly, I don't have that one anymore.  shoot!

Basically it told me just as you saw it.  That she felt she woudl be realizing her dreams and goals and you would agree to send her for a month to see if things work out but that at the end of the month she would end up lying to you and telling you all was great, when it wouldn't be.  

I pulled 9 of cups, 2of wands and the Lovers.
Which tells me it’s more about she’s missing something and that would be her friend. Who had a hand in making her decision. I do believe I can pull her life together and allow her to see a path that will come together for her that will realise her dreams for her future,  If she still decides to go then that is a decision I can’t stop. I left where she wants to go because there were very few options for both my girls and I. I need to show her.

I wish you good luck. I remember going through similar things with my own daughter, and looking back, I can see my parents also going through the same thing with me. However, my parents handled it incredibly wrong--and I like to say that we handled it much better with our daughter--but she probably would have other thoughts on that.

Its not easy for either the parent(s) or the teenager who is going through this. On the brink of becoming an adult, but still a child. Sometimes we do need to let them learn things the hard way--but how do we know that we are making the right decisions for htem to be doing that? Its tough all around. Hopefully, all will work out for the best!

My youngest is Gay, so it’s a girlfriend she is going back for... and going to live with her father... he’s painted a pretty picture for her, and always gets in her ear about how I’m a bad mother. She said today oh dads changed,, haha, leopards don’t change their spots, as we know. Not much I can do to be honest, I know exactly how it’s going to turn out for her...but as you know teenagers can’t be told, so I’m not going to bother.. I will let her go as much it’s going to kill me, and let her see for herself... my door is open for any of my kids to come home at any time. It just sucks they’ve got a very vindictive father, he’s not been able to coparent like the kids have needed as he is full of hate and self pity... he is still that way after 6 years.
It has never been in the kids best interest, it’s always how he can back at me..
I know she will pretend in a big way as she is proud and wouldn’t like to admit defeat.. but alas eventually she will come home, and I’ll have to pick up the pieces yet again!! I’m just tired of the fight, I have none left in me, I just want to concentrate on me now.. and my eldest daughter if she stays. She won’t have her father to go to as he has disowned her, as she is not as agreeable as the other two, so doesn’t feed his ego.

I can’t go back, I’ve invested myself in advancing myself and this is the best place for me and I thought my girls. I did a hell of a lot of research and phoning around for over a year before I decided it was a good move, with the agreement of the kids of course as it was their life too...

Such is life, we all have our trials.. one day life will be kind back.

I am as sick as a dog today, and not in a very good way, so my thinking is a bit emotional, but I’ll grt there, I’ve been waking up thinking about this, thinking shall I do this or that, but at the end of the day, she’s stubborn and made up her mind.

Dancing Bear wrote:My youngest is Gay, so it’s a girlfriend she is going back for... and going to live with her father... he’s painted a pretty picture for her, and always gets in her ear about how I’m a bad mother. She said today oh dads changed,, haha, leopards don’t change their spots, as we know. Not much I can do to be honest, I know exactly how it’s going to turn out for her...but as you know teenagers can’t be told, so I’m not going to bother.. I will let her go as much it’s going to kill me, and let her see for herself... my door is open for any of my kids to come home at any time. It just sucks they’ve got a very vindictive father, he’s not been able to coparent like the kids have needed as he is full of hate and self pity... he is still that way after 6 years.

No, leopards do not change their spots and he is very manipulative. I can't recall, did we agree that he most likely suffers with Narcissistic Personality Disorder? He certainly sounds like he does. I'm so sorry that your daughter is going to be livign with him, (which I did read in the cards originally myself) and I also read that she was being manipulated into believing this was the best option for her to pursue. *sigh* Its so tough being a teenager and also having to have a successful relationship with parents that are divorced, especially when the one is so obviously menacing. He is fooling her and its just so sad in so many ways. But, she will realize this after awhile. Sometimes the best lessons in life are learned the hard way. Which we both ALSO know so well, eh? At least she knows she can always come back to you.

It has never been in the kids best interest, it’s always how he can back at me..
I know she will pretend in a big way as she is proud and wouldn’t like to admit defeat.. but alas eventually she will come home, and I’ll have to pick up the pieces yet again!! I’m just tired of the fight, I have none left in me, I just want to concentrate on me now.. and my eldest daughter if she stays. She won’t have her father to go to as he has disowned her, as she is not as agreeable as the other two, so doesn’t feed his ego.

yes, I originally read all that in the reading. *sigh* I could KICK myself for changing it now! I didn't want to worry you with that first reading and I kept it out on my table for awhile looking at it to see if it could say something totally differnt. I then saw different things and so changed it. so angry w/myself!

I can’t go back, I’ve invested myself in advancing myself and this is the best place for me and I thought my girls. I did a hell of a lot of research and phoning around for over a year before I decided it was a good move, with the agreement of the kids of course as it was their life too...

Such is life, we all have our trials.. one day life will be kind back.

You are such a GREAT mom, D.B! Yes, such is life. And, no matter how supportive parent/parents are for their kids, some of them have to learn things through their own experiences. I was like that myself---and my daughter too. Your daughter will also learn the hard way--but once the lesson is learned, at least she will be much stronger for the next time. And, she knows she always has you there to help her. That is a good thing!

It is all very sad, and I totally agree that she’s been manipulated into thinking it’s the best option. It’s so so sad, as she has been doing great guns here, she will be graduating high school in November, two years ahead of time. She only turns 16, in September. She wanted to join the army and become a bio scientist, she has the smarts to do it. I joined her up into the army cadets to give her a feel of it, just to be sure it was the army she wanted. She loves it, making new friends. Last night she was really happy when coming home from cadets. She’d had a great time. Because she is so young next year she would have had to do a prerequisite course to get into the sciences she needs to succeed by then She would be 17 and able to join the army full time and study under them. I fear now all of those hopes and dreams will be lost, because there is no way she will be able to do this back in Cairns the courses are not available to her. This is what is crushing me. Knowing all she has worked hard for is now lost. All I have done for her was for nought. For those manipulating her are being selfish and vindictive thinking of themselves and how to get back at me, and not thinking of her and what she wants in life , encouraging her to succeed. It’s just a sad situation I have no control over, I must just let go, keeping in mind she is still young and may realise her dreams eventually once she’s got this bit out of her system.

And yes I know she will eventually get sick of living at her fathers, he’s homophobic, so he will certainly try to manipulate her sexuality. Which is sad, this is not a choice, she was born like it. It is a large part of her identity to have him fuck with her head about it scares me and the damage he will do. I think being away from him so long she has forgotten what he’s like. His digs, his control, she is female so he will have her in the role of housekeeping. But as you say she is going to have to learn the hard way unfortunately.
I have instilled in her independence, to embrace who she is, love every part. Become a liberated woman with her own thoughts and ideas, but she being young hasn’t quite concreted that in yet and is easily led. I’ve always asked what does she think, what does she feel. Helping her to work out situations on her own, based on logic, and what makes her happy. The picture that’s been painted for her must have looked wonderful and all logic went out the window.. but I’m not going to harp on it now, I’ll just enjoy the time I have left with her and get on with it, all children leave the nest eventually, it’s my turn to deal with it.

Oh, Dancing Bear---you really are a GREAT MUM!!!  Its so heartbreaking, I know...but as you also know EVERYTHING happens for reason.  

It sounds like she had a wonderful future for herself if she stayed where you are now.  Way ahead of the game where most kids start.  But, sadly--you cannot force it.  If you forced ehr to do anything, she may draw furhter away from you and be worse for it.  As hard as this is, you are doing everything in the right way.  She may take a long time to figure it all out for herself, but when she does, she will realize how great a mum you were and are!

eta:

You know, I recently came across this little diddy that really hit home for me, as it is good advice that I wish I had gotten a long time ago and may have realized how wise the words are in it. I'll share it below with you.


"You cannot change the past. You can only change the way
you allow the past to affect your present
and your future."
~ 1989 Springwolf ~

Maybe your daughter will soon figure it out too. The past is what we know and change is always difficult. So we long for the past - where it was good and comfortable, forgetting the hurtful parts of the past. But, as we both know you cannot go back to the way things were. Change happens all the time. And, as it says above, we cannot change the past, and I would add, we also cannot go back to the past. We can only change the way we allow the past to affect our present and our future, just as it says above.

I LOVE that quote!

One day soon, your daughter will also realize it too.

Got the six of swords Again!! It says get some rest, bloody impossible with these corticosteroids I’m on, all they do is keep me awake and pee a lot... surviving on 6 hours sleep in two days.. gah!!!
But I’m tough I can do it!!

Dancing Bear I hope you are feeling better and getting some rest. Have things sorted out a little with your daughter?

Hey Disa, lovely to see you back xx
Re my daughter, No I haven’t sorted much, she booked her flight for the 14th December...
I have come to the conclusion there is not much I can do, she needs to see and experience it all for herself, so I’ll send her off with my blessings and keep my door open for her when she needs it.
There is no animosity between us, I will keep it that way and just enjoy the time I have with her in the meantime.

And yes I am over this awful flu, finally!! Getting much needed sleep.